im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
