all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
