I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
