I just cut my nipple shaving
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
