a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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