I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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