My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My liver just had a heart attack.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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