I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Randomize
