But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I am in a vortex of obligation.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
