2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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