fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
