Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
