You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
