please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
