watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
