Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
