honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
