Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
