that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
