all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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