No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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