A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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