how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
