Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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