you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
