i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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