i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
