i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
