i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
