McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
