HIV tests are more positive than that guy
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
