Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
