Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
