I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
