ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
