Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
