we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
