All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Are my feet made of real feet?
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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