Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Boobs are out for the taking
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
