Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
