Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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