I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
