Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
