i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
No subtext here. People are naked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
