I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
