it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Houston, we have a squirter
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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