Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Randomize
