Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
