i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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