Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
