Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
